The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
