How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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