Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize