Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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