you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
