my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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