hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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