He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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