if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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