went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
