My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
