You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
