I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
