Welp...herpes.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
