You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
