Fuck appropriateness.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
