i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
