Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
