I hate all girls vehemently.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize