Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
