i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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