And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
