Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
that is very illegal...i love you.
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