He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
