My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
