Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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