did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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