either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
this must be what syphilis tastes like
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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