Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
