So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
