yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
