i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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