"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize