i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
