it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
