for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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