i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
