I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
