He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
