well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
