so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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