whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
