sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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