the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
