I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
this boner is exhausting
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
