2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
