drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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