i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
