He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
