i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
