Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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