he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
