Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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