I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
