woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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