Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
