You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
