He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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