Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize