i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
