I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize