Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
