my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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