You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
