Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
