Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
