wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
